Hi! We had a baby who we shall call Genki on this blog because that is what her big sister, Toto, named her when I was pregnant.
I debated for a long time whether to go back to the USA to give birth or stay "home" in Manila. Toto's birth was such an awesome experience that I was afraid I would be disappointed if I had a less than perfect experience here. But I am so glad I stayed.
My keys to having a positive birth experience overseas:
1. Find a supportive doctor. Dr. Theresa Henson is amazing. She was extremely respectful of our decision to have a natural, unmedicated birth. I felt confident that she would offer the best care possible and would be able to deal with any complication that arose - and I was right. I felt completely safe under her care, which made the whole experience easier. Another bonus of delivering in Manila - your doctor is always the one who delivers you, unlike in the US where it could be another OB in the practice.
2. Consider a doula. While The Shark is seriously the best labor partner ever, it is nice to have someone else to help. Especially someone from the country you are delivering in. Granted, I have lived in Manila for over 2 years and am familiar with the culture, but despite the Starbucks on every corner, there is lots I will never really understand. Doula Betty was a big help by liaising between us and the hospital staff, covering for The Shark when he needed to eat or rest, suggesting positions for pain relief, reminding me to stay hydrated, and taking photos.
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| Pretty much the only comfortable position I could find for 3 hours straight. |
3. Make a birth plan. Not only does this help you mentally prepare, but it also gives clear guidance to the staff on how you would like your labor and delivery to go. Here's mine:
About Us
We spent the first two years of our marriage in a rural
African village living very simple lives.
That experience changed us and we continue to try to live as naturally
as possible. I delivered our first
daughter naturally and unmedicated in September 2011 in the U.S. We really want to bring our second baby into
the world without medical or chemical intervention. We have been working with our doula, taken a
natural childbirth class, and I have practiced prenatal yoga to help prepare ourselves
for a natural birth. We would love to be
matched with nurses who like working with couples attempting a natural birth.
Labor and Delivery
--My support people
are my doula, Betty, and husband, The Shark. I would like them to be present during
labor and delivery.
--I would like to try whatever I can before
receiving Pitocin.
--I know what my pain medication options are, so I ask that
the hospital staff please not suggest medication options to me unless I ask.
--Please offer The Shark the opportunity to catch the baby and cut
the cord.
--If possible, please delay clamping the cord for at least one
minute after delivery.
Cesarean
--If
my primary care provider determines that a Cesarean delivery is indicated, if
possible, I would like The Shark and Betty present at all times.
--If
I must have a cesarean section, I wish to have an epidural for anesthesia.
--If
possible, I would like skin-to-skin contact with my daughter immediately after
birth.
Post Partum
--We
are planning to breastfeed; please do not give my daughter bottles or pacifiers.
--I want to have as much skin-to-skin contact
as possible – I would like to have my daughter placed on my stomach/chest
immediately after delivery, and have any evaluations be done while I am holding
her. If possible, please wait to
administer the Vitamin K and eye drops until 60 minutes after the birth.
--Please
administer the HepB immunization, but
not the BCG.
We thank you for taking the time to help us achieve a
natural birth for our daughter.
I put in bold the most important aspects, and kept it to one page in order to not overwhelm the staff. Kudos to the Makati Med staff for never once mentioning pain medication. Of course, I realize that complications can occur and I was prepared to alter the plan if necessary. (Note: The Shark opted out of "catching" the baby. End Note.)
4. Prepare yourself mentally and physically. Honestly I was much better about this for Toto's birth when I had less to do and no toddler to chase after. But I did spend time writing a letter to Baby Genki, doing some meditating, light yoga, walking, and meeting with Doula Betty. Being in shape gave me the stamina I needed to get through 6 hours of painful active labor. Being mentally prepared allowed me to completely let go of any fear about giving birth and just use the pain and contractions to open up and bring Baby Genki into the world. Not to say that the pain wasn't almost unbearable at times, but never once did I feel afraid - mainly because I trusted my body to do what it needed to do.
5. Have a support system in place for your other children. We are so lucky to have an amazing nanny for Toto, Yaya, who took great care of her in our absence and brought her to the hospital to visit us. Having Yaya continue with her normal routine made Toto comfortable and calm while we were in the hospital for 3 days. That's not to say that she adjusted immediately - we are still working through some issues, but overall she is doing great as a big sister. When I got home she said, "I'm happy you're here, Mama." We have also made time to do things just with her to remind her that we still love her and Baby Genki has not replaced her.
6. Research hospitals. I chose Makati Med because it is close to where I live (did not want to sit in traffic in labor) and my doctor prefers it. But we toured the birthing suites beforehand just to make sure we were comfortable with the set-up. The only downside is that the rooms lack a tub. I didn't want a water birth, but I did enjoy the tub during Toto's laboring or pain relief. (From what I have heard, St. Luke's has really gorgeous suites with tubs.) The Makati Med staff was overall great, everyone washed their hands before coming in the room, let us rest when we were asleep, and provided good care and explanations whenever they did anything--I even ate most of the food, which will be a shock to anyone who has seen me place an order in a restaurant. Not to say it was perfect, there were a couple of instances when staff didn't show up to do an oxygen test or weigh Genki. But I had those frustrations in the US as well.
7. Do your research. I have O- blood, which is a rarity in Asia. Well before the birth, my blood type had to be found and banked. Unfortunately, for privacy reasons I can't know the donors, so therefore can't thank them. But next time someone needs O- blood, I will donate. Because of the negative blood, I also needed Rhogam once we determined Baby Genki's blood type was A+. To everyone's surprise, there was no Rhogam in the ENTIRE country. So, we had to order from Singapore and it arrived within the last 24 hours of the 72 hour window.
8. Know what comes next. It is not The Shark's responsibility to get all the Philippine paperwork done before Genki gets her real birth certificate and passport. More on that if we ever finish the process...
Baby Genki's birth story to come!
