San Diego

One of the fantastic perks of our jobs is R&R. During our four years in the Philippines we are eligible for two paid trips basically anywhere, as long as it is not more expensive than a ticket to Sydney. In 2012 we went to San Diego and had such an amazing trip that we decided to go back. This time for 26 days in a rental house in Encinitas. It was a perfect home base, with Moonlight Beach and a playground just two blocks away.

After living in Manila for three years, the best part of San Diego was just being outside in the fresh cool air. In the words of this little one, "There's so much space!"

The entire family was able to spend a week together, and although it was crazy, it was really fun.

Towards the end of the trip we spent three days in Joshua Tree.

Other Highlights

Holiday Wonderland at Petco Park
Nutcracker at the Civic Theater
Garden of Lights at the San Diego Botanic Gardens
San Diego Zoo
Best fish tacos at Haggo's Organic Tacos
Siblings Brewery Tour
Sunsets at Moonlight Beach
The baby really learning how to walk
Playgrounds at Balboa Park

R&R in numbers

Mountains hiked: 5; 26 miles total
Breweries visited: 8
Miles ran: 27
Yoga classes: 3

Until next time San Diego!

21-Day Happiness Challenge

I've hit a slump. After 3 years in the Philippines, I find myself focusing on the challenges - infrastructure, traffic, pollution - instead of trying to enjoy this unique experience living in a foreign country. There are definitely positives to living here. I have never lived anywhere where people laugh or smile more. Makes me think, why am I not smiling more, too? Then I stumbled upon three stories that really resonated with me.

The first is a TED Talk by Shawn Anchor.

Instead of just talking about how cool it would be to just be happy, he challenges us to try 5 activities for 21 days to re-wire our brains to be more positive and optimistic:

1. Three Gratitudes: write down three new things you are grateful for everyday

2. Journaling: write about one positive thing you have experienced in the last 24 hours to allow your brain to relive the experience

3. Exercise: to teach your brain that behavior matters

4. Meditation: to allow your brain to focus on just one thing in the present

5. Random Acts of Kindness: write one email thanking or praising someone in your social network everyday

Then I read an article in the NY Times about the problem with positive thinking.  Basically, the author argues that your brain gets lazy if you are overly optimistic, and instead you should use "mental contrasting," where you first imagine reaching your goal, then spend a few minutes imaginging the challenges you will have to overcome to reach it.

Finally, I read an article in this month's Foreign Service Journal. Although the article, "Flying Monkeys in an Embassy" was calling me, I read a letter from a mother to her children instead. In the "Letter to my Global Nomads," three reminders really struck home for me:

1. Be open to the unique gifts each country can give you.

2. Try to find something beautiful in your host country everyday.

3. Find humor in the eccentricities. 

According to my resume, I am an action-oriented individual, so I am going to give these ideas a try over the next three weeks and see if I can be rewired.

Half Marathon on the Horizon

Fourteen months after Toto was born I ran a marathon in Bangkok.  As much as I would like to do the same after Moo Shu's birth, I know that's not going to happen.  Instead, The Shark and I signed up for a half marathon at the end of this year.  Training has been mediocre, but I am hoping to spice things up with some races for motivation.  I ran the Manila Bay Clean-Up run earlier this month, and the Life Run 10K in September and the Men's Health Urbanathalon in November sound fun. Here's a recap of running this year. Picture some yoga, elliptical, and moderate weight lifting sprinkled throughout.

January
Running: Moo Shu was born December 9 - cut me some slack

February
Running: 24.8 miles

March
Running: 24.8 miles

April
Running: 24.8 miles

May
Running: 18.6 miles

June
Running: 30.6 miles

July
Running: 46.6 miles

I was way more dedicated in 2012, getting out every weekend morning and doing long runs. With two kids, lots of work, continuous colds, hip pain, and doing our own cooking (right, like every other working mom in America, I know), early weekend mornings are spent funneling coffee down my throat.

Maternity Leave in Numbers

Days: 86

Miles Ran: 31

Yoga Classes: 20

Massages: 6

New Recipes: 19

Closets Organized: 3

Pounds Lost: 20

Baby and Toddler Kisses: Lost Count

Baby Genki's Birth Story

How is little Baby Genki already 60 days old?? Well, here's her birth story.

The decision to attempt a natural, unmedicated birth was easy for me.  For many years, I have been concerned with pesticides, additives, preservatives, and all other forms of chemical junk added to our bodies for convenience and profits of others. After spending two years in a rural African village, living closely to the level of the people, with no running water, no electricity, and no processed foods, I realized how important it was to take care of my body naturally. So, the decision to not have my body injected with chemicals to take away the normal pain of childbirth was obvious. I wanted to have the full experience, pain and all, and bring my children into the world the way women had for all of time, and the way women did in my rural African village everyday.

For Toto's birth, The Shark and I took a natural childbirth class to prepare us with ways to cope with pain, and to get a more realistic idea of what a natural childbirth entails. It was a great way to practice different laboring positions, talk about plans to cope with pain, and discuss ways The Shark could provide support. We also found a doula.  Probably the best decision we made was to have someone help us prepare for the birth, make a birth plan, and support us both during labor and delivery. I also kept my body in shape with yoga, walking, swimming, and hiking to keep up with the physical demands of labor.

Fast forward to 2013. After I found out I was pregnant in March, I immediately decided to fly back to the U.S. for the birth. But the logistics of taking a two-year old across the ocean, finding a place to stay, jet lag, bringing our nanny (??), and being without The Shark for a few weeks made me change my mind. I talked to several women who had great birth experiences right here in Manila, so we decided to stay. Just like Baby #1, I looked for a doula to assist us, and I found the only (or one of the few) in Manila--Betty. We had two sessions during my pregnancy to prepare for the birth. My favorite part was drawing a picture of what we hoped for the birth and included words like "calm" and "breathe." Toto even added some decor to the drawing.

Baby Genki's first ultrasound had a December 9 due date, but all sonograms after that showed December 2. As the days passed December 2, I became more anxious and discouraged.  I tried to stay positive, but the 16 weeks of morning sickness, months of chasing a toddler, and body aches had taken their toll and I was ready to deliver my little girl. I worked until December 5, then decided to stop with the hope that a more relaxed mind and body might trigger labor. That whole weekend I did everything to encourage labor - evening primrose oil, pineapple (lots and lots of pineapple), spicy food, lunges, walking, dancing, you name it. On December 8, I woke up to some bleeding and light cramping - the show was finally starting! I had mild contractions throughout the day, so back to the dancing and lunging. Sunday night was a little uncomfortable, but I managed to get some sleep.  My doula, Betty, spent the night and in the morning massaged my feet and back.

On Monday morning, we went to see Dr. Henson and I asked her to strip my membranes. I am all for letting things progress naturally, but I was so ready to get things moving. The strip was painful and within 45 minutes I was in active labor. We never even went home, just got wheeled to the birthing suite.  

The birthing suite was big with nice natural light from the windows and a couch that I glued myself on all fours to for a few hours. Contractions were coming less than 5 minutes apart, and it felt really good to moan "ohhhh," imagining my body opening. Betty and The Shark took turns applying counter pressure to my back, relieving lots of pain. I was still in good spirits and even able to joke with Dr. Henson. But then the pain started getting worse.  At seven centimeters, I moved to the hospital bed.

During Toto's birth, I tried lots of different positions, but Genki's birth was different. Everything was faster and more intense. Kneeling on all fours was the only comfortable position for me. Switching to my back to check for progress was almost unbearable. The Shark was amazing--encouraging me to keep going, to bring our little girl into the world, to breathe--I couldn't have done it without him.  

I was stuck at 8 centimeters for two hours and started to feel tired and a little desperate.  Moans weren't cutting it anymore, I started to scream, and there were times I thought I just might pass out.  Dr. Henson offered to break my bag of water, I agreed, and after one huge contraction I was fully dilated. Everyone was ecstatic, but no one more than me. Then I had to push. Honestly, there are no words for that burning and stretching pain.  I stayed on my knees and after a few good pushes her little head came out, but her shoulders were stuck.  Dr. Henson had to reach inside (she has tiny hands) and literally pull her out. Because I was on all fours, I had to turn around to see her. Luckily, Doula Betty caught that moment on film (will not be shared here) because the look of joy and love in The Shark and my faces is really beautiful. Dr. Henson placed her on my chest. We let the cord stop pulsating on its own, then The Shark cut it.

The relief, joy, euphoria, happiness, everything at once. Genki was so alert, looking around, and nursed right away.  Then a few more contractions for the GIANT placenta, a few stitches (small, natural tear), and I was left in peace to just be with my little girl--all 7 lbs 13 oz, 19 inches long of her.

The memory of the pain doesn't fade away, but is it supposed to? Everything that I felt during the labor and delivery were created by my own body. There was so much more than pain, there was trust, and love, and excitement, and hope, and strength, and the overriding belief that my body knew exactly what to do. Bringing my girls into the world without chemical intervention has easily been the most empowering experience of my life.

Having a Baby in the Philippines

Hi! We had a baby who we shall call Genki on this blog because that is what her big sister, Toto, named her when I was pregnant.  

I debated for a long time whether to go back to the USA to give birth or stay "home" in Manila.  Toto's birth was such an awesome experience that I was afraid I would be disappointed if I had a less than perfect experience here.  But I am so glad I stayed.

My keys to having a positive birth experience overseas:

1. Find a supportive doctor.  Dr. Theresa Henson is amazing.  She was extremely respectful of our decision to have a natural, unmedicated birth.  I felt confident that she would offer the best care possible and would be able to deal with any complication that arose - and I was right.  I felt completely safe under her care, which made the whole experience easier.  Another bonus of delivering in Manila - your doctor is always the one who delivers you, unlike in the US where it could be another OB in the practice.

2. Consider a doula.  While The Shark is seriously the best labor partner ever, it is nice to have someone else to help.  Especially someone from the country you are delivering in.  Granted, I have lived in Manila for over 2 years and am familiar with the culture, but despite the Starbucks on every corner, there is lots I will never really understand.  Doula Betty was a big help by liaising between us and the hospital staff, covering for The Shark when he needed to eat or rest, suggesting positions for pain relief, reminding me to stay hydrated, and taking photos. 

Pretty much the only comfortable position I could find for 3 hours straight.

3. Make a birth plan.  Not only does this help you mentally prepare, but it also gives clear guidance to the staff on how you would like your labor and delivery to go.  Here's mine:

About Us

We spent the first two years of our marriage in a rural African village living very simple lives.  That experience changed us and we continue to try to live as naturally as possible.  I delivered our first daughter naturally and unmedicated in September 2011 in the U.S.  We really want to bring our second baby into the world without medical or chemical intervention.  We have been working with our doula, taken a natural childbirth class, and I have practiced prenatal yoga to help prepare ourselves for a natural birth.  We would love to be matched with nurses who like working with couples attempting a natural birth.

Labor and Delivery
--My support people are my doula, Betty, and husband, The Shark.  I would like them to be present during labor and delivery.
--I would like to try whatever I can before receiving Pitocin.
--I know what my pain medication options are, so I ask that the hospital staff please not suggest medication options to me unless I ask.
--Please offer The Shark the opportunity to catch the baby and cut the cord.
--If possible, please delay clamping the cord for at least one minute after delivery.

Cesarean

--If my primary care provider determines that a Cesarean delivery is indicated, if possible, I would like The Shark and Betty present at all times.

--If I must have a cesarean section, I wish to have an epidural for anesthesia.

--If possible, I would like skin-to-skin contact with my daughter immediately after birth.

Post Partum

--We are planning to breastfeed; please do not give my daughter bottles or pacifiers.

--I want to have as much skin-to-skin contact as possible – I would like to have my daughter placed on my stomach/chest immediately after delivery, and have any evaluations be done while I am holding her.  If possible, please wait to administer the Vitamin K and eye drops until 60 minutes after the birth.

--Please administer the HepB immunization, but not the BCG.

We thank you for taking the time to help us achieve a natural birth for our daughter.

I put in bold the most important aspects, and kept it to one page in order to not overwhelm the staff. Kudos to the Makati Med staff for never once mentioning pain medication. Of course, I realize that complications can occur and I was prepared to alter the plan if necessary.  (Note: The Shark opted out of "catching" the baby. End Note.)

4. Prepare yourself mentally and physically.  Honestly I was much better about this for Toto's birth when I had less to do and no toddler to chase after.  But I did spend time writing a letter to Baby Genki, doing some meditating, light yoga, walking, and meeting with Doula Betty.  Being in shape gave me the stamina I needed to get through 6 hours of painful active labor.  Being mentally prepared allowed me to completely let go of any fear about giving birth and just use the pain and contractions to open up and bring Baby Genki into the world.  Not to say that the pain wasn't almost unbearable at times, but never once did I feel afraid - mainly because I trusted my body to do what it needed to do.

5. Have a support system in place for your other children.  We are so lucky to have an amazing nanny for Toto, Yaya, who took great care of her in our absence and brought her to the hospital to visit us. Having Yaya continue with her normal routine made Toto comfortable and calm while we were in the hospital for 3 days.  That's not to say that she adjusted immediately - we are still working through some issues, but overall she is doing great as a big sister.  When I got home she said, "I'm happy you're here, Mama."  We have also made time to do things just with her to remind her that we still love her and Baby Genki has not replaced her.

6. Research hospitals.  I chose Makati Med because it is close to where I live (did not want to sit in traffic in labor) and my doctor prefers it. But we toured the birthing suites beforehand just to make sure we were comfortable with the set-up.  The only downside is that the rooms lack a tub.  I didn't want a water birth, but I did enjoy the tub during Toto's laboring or pain relief. (From what I have heard, St. Luke's has really gorgeous suites with tubs.) The Makati Med staff was overall great, everyone washed their hands before coming in the room, let us rest when we were asleep, and provided good care and explanations whenever they did anything--I even ate most of the food, which will be a shock to anyone who has seen me place an order in a restaurant.  Not to say it was perfect, there were a couple of instances when staff didn't show up to do an oxygen test or weigh Genki.  But I had those frustrations in the US as well.

7. Do your research. I have O- blood, which is a rarity in Asia.  Well before the birth, my blood type had to be found and banked.  Unfortunately, for privacy reasons I can't know the donors, so therefore can't thank them. But next time someone needs O- blood, I will donate. Because of the negative blood, I also needed Rhogam once we determined Baby Genki's blood type was A+.  To everyone's surprise, there was no Rhogam in the ENTIRE country. So, we had to order from Singapore and it arrived within the last 24 hours of the 72 hour window.  

8. Know what comes next. It is not The Shark's responsibility to get all the Philippine paperwork done before Genki gets her real birth certificate and passport.  More on that if we ever finish the process...

Baby Genki's birth story to come!

January Runs

I have always been like this. Documenting everything. Every mile run. Every yoga class taken. Now I even wear the Nike Fuel band (thanks Shark!) to record my calories burnt, steps taken, mileage accomplished. But I was a bit surprised when The Shark wanted me to record his workouts too. He joined a gym in his office building and sneaks away most days for quick runs. And we have been running together early weekend mornings (while Toto is properly cared for, of course). We need something to train for, but after the marathon I have been too lazy to find and register for a race. Maybe soon.

Week 1
Moi: 13.1 miles (+yoga)
The Shark: 18.07 miles

Week 2
Moi: 20.1 miles (+yoga)
The Shark: 19 miles (+ tennis)

Week 3
Moi: 22 miles (+yoga)
The Shark: 20 miles

Week 4
Moi: 25.1 miles (+yoga)
The Shark: 22.46 miles

Week 5 (How many f-ing weeks are there in January?!?)
Moi: 11.1 miles
The Shark: 13.5 miles (+tennis)

January Total
Moi: 91.4 miles
The Shark: 93.03 miles

I Knew That Nutritional Yeast Would Come in Handy

Back in July, to make up for "The Worst Birthday Dinner That Never Happened" (long story for another time), The Shark booked us a weekend at The Farm. Vegan food, yoga classes, fresh air. It was love at first sight.

Sight of a slight altercation between a goose and the child. No one was harmed.

One of Toto's favorite spots.

In fact, we loved the food so much we bought the cookbook. Lots of recipes call for cashew cheese, and while I was ready to pay an exorbitant price for it at Healthy Options, they didn't carry it. So, we made it ourselves. Surprisingly easy and delicious. Even The Shark, who grew up on a dairy farm, couldn't stop dipping. Granted, he said it tasted more like hummus than cheese, but the nutritional yeast and apple cider vinergar definitely gave it a cheezy tang. I used this recipe because it didn't call for probiotics (need to google that) or long hours fermenting, but maybe in the future we'll try making a more complicated recipe. For now, I was happy to soak cashews, then plop them in the food processor with apple cider vinegar, nutritional yeast, garlic, onion powder, salt, pepper, and some water. (I normally use nutritional yeast as a yogurt mix-in and in smoothies - lots of folic acid and B vitamins!). And voila, a yummy vegan snack that we can use for tomorrow's vegan stuffed peppers.

Raw cashews from the Salcedo Market - P250 ($6)

Happy vegan snacking.

Starting Fresh

In March 2012 when Toto was only 6 months old, I still felt foggy and out of it--I still didn't feel "like myself." I was in that new mom phase, trying to find a balance between working, being with Toto, being a good wife to The Shark, and finding time for myself. Of course, I am still working on that everyday, but now that Toto is 16 months, I feel a little more balanced and a little more like my old type-A self. 

However, having a baby has forced me to take it down a notch or two on the old intensity scale--I did say only a notch or two, I still love planning, checking things off my list, getting more things done than I should. But if Toto dumps her toys everywhere, smears my clothes with avocado, or interrupts my list making, I can let it go. Moments with her are just too precious. And with amazing Yaya, I can find time to take care of myself and spend quality time with The Shark. 

Last year I decided to make a list of ongoing goals instead of one resolution. Tried to choose things that would help myself, my family, and others. I think I did pretty good.

1. Bake cupcakes and frosting from scratch each month. I managed to make cupcakes several times, but not every month. My two biggest undertakings were for  a friend's 2-year old's party and Toto's 1-year bash. My favorite and easiest cupcake to make is the vegan chocolate cupcake.

2. Run a marathon. While I had originally considered The Cam Sur or Singapore Marathon, I ended up running the Bangkok Marathon in November. Our trip to Bangkok turned out to be one of our best mini-vacations ever, and it didn't hurt that I checked off a major life goal while there. My time was 5hr 18 mins, not what I had hoped for, but not bad considering the training conditions in Manila, working full time, and having a 14-month old. You can read the details here.

3. Throw Toto a blow-out first birthday.  I initially intended to pay someone to orchestrate Toto's entire birthday, but I realized I wanted it to be personal and special, so I took care of most of the details myself. The child loves water, so I went with a beach theme.

4. Make some baby food from scratch.  Now that Toto is eating mainly solid food, it is becoming a little more challenging to keep up a varied and fresh diet for her. I mainly cook her turkey burgers (organic from Healthy Options), veggie noodles, squash, carrots, tofu, brocoli, fish, rice, quinoa, pancakes, and chicken. She also loves mango, avocado, cheese, and bananas, which are so easy. 

5. Read 1 book a month.  Crap! I only managed to read seven books. Steve Jobs, Bringing up Bebe, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, Wild, The Sex Lives of Cannibals, Born to Run, and White Lilies in Autumn. Any recommendations for my reading list in 2013?

6. Spend quality time with The Shark and Toto - together and separate.  The Shark and I make it a point to go out to eat at least once a week. We keep a list of restaurants to try (recent winners: The Wine Depot, Pipino Vegetarian, and Caruso) so we don't go to Apartment 1B every time. The weekends are mainly Toto time, except for a couple hours each day to get a massage, go to yoga, or go for a run. On occasion we leave Toto for the day to try something new and exciting, but the guilt is almost too much. Because - that face!

7. Do/Say Something Nice Everyday. This continues to be a challenge for me. My job is tedious and by the end of the day my patience is worn thin (until I see Toto of course, then I can't even remember what I do for a living). In December we helped a women's group purchase several sewing machines - I am kinda hoping that made up for missing this goal on many occasions?

8. Practice Yoga at Least Once a Week.  I started doing yoga in 2002 when I moved home after college.  My dad and I did Bikram's every week and I got into awesome shape before my wedding.  Since then I have done yoga in every city I have lived--Albuquerque, Denver, DC, Kigali, and now Manila.  In March 2012 I got back into yoga after a 6 month hiatus.  I actually kept up my practice all throughout my pregnancy, but had trouble finding a studio (and time) once I arrived in Manila. Someone recommended Bliss Yoga - and it is awesome. I take a Jivamukti class every Sunday - helps calm me after a long week and get me ready for the one ahead.

Up next: 2013 goals.

A New Perspective

Oh, hi. We are in California. And it is awesome. Because you can do things like yoga on a paddleboard. And go to Target. Surprisingly, it is not as hard as it sounds to keep your balance on a paddleboard. Most poses kept you pretty steady, but I could not manage to do the headstand on open water - more fear than capability. The coolest part was staring at the sky during shavasana and the shore during down dog. 

BTW - Toto was amazing on the plane. We were nervous based on her previous flight from CA to Manila when she was 7 weeks old and literally cried for 10 hours straight. This time from MNL to NRT, she kept herself busy playing in the bulk head area with a series of new, small toys purchased to keep her quiet. Fortunately there was a children's play area in the Narita airport to keep her occupied for the 2-hour layover. Then came the big one - 10 hours from Narita to LAX. She kept her cool during the dinner service, and once they dimmed the lights we changed her into pj's and put her to sleep on a million airline pillows on the floor. Knowing that the friendly Delta stewardesses might have a problem with that, we made a blanket tent to hide her. That little girl slept for 6 hours. And when they came around in the morning with her breakfast, Yaya pretended the toddler meal was for her so they wouldn't get suspicious - which after 10 hours on the plane managed to slip by the stewardess. Oh, I didn't mention Yaya was with us? Well, we wanted a real vacation. And we are having one.